Reviews by StupidMarioBros
Simple and Fun.StupidMarioBros | Feb. 22, 2014 | Review of Dwarfs!?
Dwarfs! What more can I say? Well, a lot actually.
Dwarfs! (Yeah, the ! is in the title) is a strategy game with a overhead view, even though you're underground, which makes no sense, but in a game like this, who cares honestly. The main objective is to try and get the most money, or the highest high score, which you do by making your little dwarfs dig for gold and other ores. With this gold, you can either save it up or buy more dwarfs (and other people, but ill get to that) to increase production. The last way you can spend money is by creating paths for your dwarfs to mine in. What do I mean? Well, basically, if you dont make paths for the dwarfs, they will just dig randomly, which obviously won't help. The paths cost a reasonable amount, which costs by block how far you make them.
The main objective, besides high scores, is to survive monsters, water, and lava. They all try to attack you home base. If it gets destroyed or flooded, the game's over. The combat is like this: The more a dwarf digs, the more he levels up, meaning more damage and other things. You can also buy guard dwarfs to guard your home, but that only beats monsters. The monsters are found in random chance caves, which basically work like this: You see a black cave, if your dwarf enters, it could be: A. Treasure B. Nothing C. Monsters, or D. Lava/Water, so you can bet it all for the money.
The other hazard is water/lava, which the tutorial teaches you how to stop. Basically it works like this: You can build walls to hold both back, but theres a catch: Lava can break through the walls, but water can't. To stop lava from flooding, you need to plant a bomb to make a hole for the lava to fall in and stop it from flooding, which is done by planting a bomb then sacrificing a dwarf.
That's the basics of the game, which may sound complicated, but it is very simple to pick up and play for me, but than again, I have played games like this before (Dig Dug, Bomberman).
Is this game worth the price here on GMG? Yes. Its only, as I write this, 2.49$, which is a great deal for this game that dives into a gaming genre not used very often. It's solid, and pretty fun to try and beat your steam friends in.
PS: Did I mention the Yogscast was in it?
A Brilliant Free-roaming Gangster Game.StupidMarioBros | Feb. 10, 2014 | Review of Mafia II
I never played the first Mafia, as I was too busy playing GTA San Andreas, which is a brilliant game by the way. So, when I picked up Mafia II for free for the golden joystick awards, I came in to expect a okay GTA clone, but to my surprise, was a much different approach to a free-roam game.
This game takes place somewhere in the early to mid 1900's. You are Vito, a war soldier that comes back to his home for a couple weeks until he has to go back to war again, but that changes when you meet his friend, who takes you clean off the papers to get out again, so you can stay with him. After which, you find your sister now owns money to a mob, so you have to earn 2000 dollars in a week, but in order to get that kind of money, you need to join the mafia with your friend.
The story is pretty good, as the story isn't usually valued in this kind of game. The setting, though, is probably in my top 20 favorite gaming worlds now. It feels like a city full of life, and comfort, due to its beautiful artwork of the game and the live people around the sidewalks.
Like GTA, you are a gangster, who wants to earn big bucks, so you steal and kill to earn it, but instead of doing it for yourself in GTA, this game says you do it for your family, or you wouldn't do it at all. It's approach makes it a much deeper and richer story, all in a time period you probably haven't lived in.
All in all, a great representation of a new way to play a GTA-like game.
So Simple, Yet so complex.StupidMarioBros | Feb. 10, 2014 | Review of The Bridge
Let me say something before I start: I love indie games. Why? Because, they are from a fresh face in the industry to create something completly out of the ordinary of usual games. The Bridge is a shining example of a brilliant indie game.
The Bridge is a puzzle game where you are Issac Newton, and you use gravity to solve puzzles, but theres one catch: You have control of the world. You can turn it upside down, right side up, or how ever you want to solve mind blowing puzzles.
Its art style is like one I've never seen before, and it works perfectly into the mysterious setting of the game. You are drawn in with a pencil in every level, and everything looks like a rough draft of whatever it is. Mix it up with music that brings a mysterious and puzzling mood, and you got a great indie game.
One of my favorite indie games of all time, and I cant wait to finish it.
Unique and FunStupidMarioBros | Feb. 10, 2014 | Review of Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
When I first picked up this game, I didn't know what to expect. I barely know any games in the Medieval genre, so it really sparked my curiousity. What I found was a game that was like if Call Of Duty decided to create a medieval game, and although that sounds weird, it is very, very well executed.
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare is a medieval game, as you can tell from the title, where you get to choose a number of classes, which varies in speed, strength and range. Many of these kinds of games I play, they're usually unbalanced due to one class being able to destroy all others (besides TF2,) But this is actually fairly balanced (Archers,Vanguards,Knights,Man-to-Arms.)
This game shines in its multiplayer, and man is it fun. The most common servers are free-for-all and team deathmatch, like normal fps games, but what is unique is how much thinking has to be done. For instance, when fighting, you can do 3 things: Attack, like normal, Block, also normal in these games, but the most interesting and cool is to Fake. You do this by pressing the button bound to it while attacking, and you'll stop mid-attack, and you can attack or block after it to fake out your opponent.
These may seem small, but this really changes the game, and makes it that much better. Not to mention the community. Everyone I play with is usually skilled in the game and brings a challenge, plus they're usually friendly.
All in all, a great buy for 25$.
Its like Rollercoaster Tycoon, if it was done by a 6 year old.StupidMarioBros | Feb. 7, 2014 | Review of Adventure Park
Before I give my opinion, let me say one thing: The only reason you should be even considering this is if you played all you can on rollercoaster tycoon, otherwise just buy that game, as it isnt as good graphically, but much better mechanically and gameplay wise.
Adventure Park is, in a nutshell, a tycoon where you have to build a amusement park, and become the best park in the world.
I wanted to learn everything that may be different, so I did the tutorial, which was pretty self explanatory, So I started a park, which was fine, until I came to where I had to hire a 5 star mechanic to keep my 5 star ride it required me to build up and running. The only problem is, the earnings of my entire park only barely cover up the cost for my 5 star mechanic, making me loose money everyday, but it still wants me to build more. You may ask yourself then, why dont I fire the mechanic? Well, you CANT FIRE HIM EVEN THOUGH YOU CANT AFFORD HIM! Another thing wrong with it is that it STARTS YOU IN THE RED! SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU LOOSING MONEY, YOU DONT HAVE MONEY TO BEGIN WITH!
I would be fine with it if this game was cheap, but NO! Make the game 30 DOLLARS! 30! This thing will probably get a price cut soon, but its unbelievable they thought it was worth that much. This is worth about 5-10$, so if it does go to that price, consider my rating go to 40/100.
My FPS also suffering dramatically from this game, but my computer is mid-sized, so it may just be me. I even get a lower FPS by zooming in on certain parts of rides. I searched a review of it to see if they had the same problem, and one guy got down to 20 FPS on a titan. A TITAN!
All in all, if you are really craving a tycoon, wait for this drop down in price, as it is decent in some places, but major problems set this game back alot.
One of the WORST Steam Games I have ever played.StupidMarioBros | Feb. 7, 2014 | Review of Guise of the Wolf
This is a perfect example of a game that has a interesting concept, but is so bad mechanically, visually, and gameplay wise, that it doesn't even matter.
The game is basically about you, some random guy without any backround information, have crashed due to a unknown beast that crashed your carriage, and you wake up next to a big castle, and must find your friend named Lazlo.
When first starting, I was greeted to a outline-like art style, like in the Wolf Among Us, which looks okay, but is so badly rendered that it gets very choppy. The game gives no indication of where Lazlo is, and when searching, I came up with a number of gliches. 1. You can, at the right angle, no clip through trees, rocks, you name it. 2. A weird tunnel-like shape in the river that looks so ugly, like it was a glich, which I hope it was
After finding Lazlo in the middle of nowhere, that somehow lets you access the castle that you weren't allowed in before, because.....why not. You are greeted to a terrible character model of the Count's wife, that belongs in a 2000 game. Her dialog is basically pointless, as she doesn't explain much, which I guess was a piss-poor attempt to add confusion as to what is happening.
After leaving the chat, you are put in a bedroom where you slept, according to her. I found, as I looked around, 5 copies OF THE SAME BOOK on a bookshelf (Called The Hungarian Kingdom) and a bag. I grabbed the bag to see what it was, and how detailed of an item name, it was actually called "Bag."
The only reason you want this game is to laugh at how terrible it is all around, or to see how to not create a game. The only steam game I think is worse is "Bad Ratz" and that's saying something. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!