Here at Green Man Gaming we care a lot about our readers, so much so that we are slowly putting together a survival guide in order to help you, the gamer, just in case you get caught in a particularly life threatening situation.
Last month we covered How to Survive Your Typical Nightmare According To Video Games. This month we are tackling the harsh war environment. Check out our top tips below.
If in doubt grab your opponent – For Honor
If the For Honor beta has taught us anything, it’s that you can probably resolve most fights by simply grabbing your opponent and throwing them into a wall or into a fire or over a cliff or even into a geyser! Just think of it like giving them a nice hug with dire consequences. Cliff edges are also pretty precarious during the tides of war. Say you are just taking five minuets to enjoy the scenery and then suddenly BAM! A big hairy viking hurls you off of said cliff edge before you can say “oh what a lovely sunset”.
Never trust a dead corpse – Sniper Elite
Whilst picking you way through the battle field we suggest steering clear of dead corpses, especially if its the corpse of you good friend Dave who’s last words were “I’ll be back in a tack, i’m just getting a coffee”. Sniper Elite has taught us that dead corpses such as these have more than likely been booby trapped, and if you go to their aid you are likely to explode. No one said war was full of sunshine and rainbows
Camping is your best friend. – Call Of Duty
Tired of not getting enough kills? Well if the general population who play COD are anything to go by, the best thing you can do is just have a seat in a particularly advantageous area and camp. That’s right, all you need to do is put your feet up and wait for the enemies to come to you! Make sure said location covers the enemies base/spawn point and the tide os war will tip in you favour in no time. You can even take camping to the next level and pitch a tent and make smores if the mood takes you.
If however you get spotted (this would typically happen from the smoke bellowing from the camp fire) we suggest equipping a jet pack and flying the hell out of there. Because you know, every first Person Shooter game has jet packs now a days.
Mow down your enemies – Warriors Games
If camping isn’t the best tactic for you then why not take a leaf from Dynasty/Samurai warriors book and just mow down as many enemies as you can. More often than not you will see literally thousands of enemies run at you and just stand there staring at you blankly. This will give you a great opportunity to grab your sword/spear/flail and destroy them in no time. What’s more, the more enemies you vanquish the better your moves will become! What could possibly go wrong!
Have a thousand team mates who can take an arrow for you – Total War
If you’re one of these people who doesn’t like getting into the tick of it as it were, then we suggest take more of a commanding role. Grab yourself some eager individuals (we suggest people/being that you aren’t hugely attached to) and command them to run into battle for you. The great thing is that they will be so dedicated to your cause that they will even run blindly into a flurry of enemy arrows for example. Now that’s dedication!
So there you have it! We can assure you that if you use these tactics during any war type situation you should be able to live to see another day. Be sure to keep an eye on the Green Man Gaming blog as next month we will bring you another edition of The Editor’s Survival Guide.