Final Fantasy at 30 – The Forgotten Final Fantasies

Final Fantasy is 30! That’s old enough to vote! And then also like, 12 more years on top of that.

But did you know that there’s a load of games that were spinoffs of the main Final Fantasy series? It’s true, check ’em out below, see how many YOU didn’t know about.

Final Fantasy 18

Experience the beautiful Blitzball game like never before with Final Fantasy 18.

Featuring a huge host of new updates to player and Blitzball stadium models, Final Fantasy 18 is the most realistic and immersive in the series to date.

Whether you want to build a world-beating squad in Ultimate Boys, discover the next step in Tidus Hunter’s football career in The Fantasy Journey 2, or just fancy going head-to-head with your friends, Final Fantasy 18 has everything you need to live out your Blitzballing dreams!

Final Fantasy XII: Get Fit With Vaan

Get ripped with Vaan!

Complete his 1-part fitness programme to discover the joy and wonder of being truly fit, with abs to die for. This programme is easy to complete and even easier to start.

All you need is a marker pen and a shirt that bares your chest, and you’re halfway there! Simply draw the abs on and you’ll be rocking the best body you’ve ever had, and you’ll never feel better.

Surprisingly, this didn’t sell too well.

Final Fantasy VIII: All Dialogue Replaced With ‘Whatever’ Edition

Squall: ‘Whatever’

Rinoa: ‘Whatever’

Selphie: ‘Whatever’

Zell: ‘Whatever’

Quistis: ‘Whatever’

Seifer: ‘Whatever’

Final Fantasy Tictacs

No-one could have foreseen that Square Enix would go into business with a sweet manufacturer specialising in breath mints, but they did and you’ll be surprised to learn that the game is 100% bad.

After a war breaks out in Mintalice, you have to guide your minty pals through a series of turn-based battles, fighting foes such as ‘The Anti-Mint’ and ‘Jeremy the Mint Basher’.

It’s not great.

Final Fantasy VII: Aeris’ Revenge

SURPRISE, SHE’S ALIVE and she’s FURIOUS.

This spinoff sequel to Final Fantasy VII has Aeris being resurrected by the remnants of Jenova, only to go on a rampage. Can you stop her before she destroys the world?

Final Fantasy Triple Triad: Only Random Rule Edition

Because fuck you.

Final Fantasy VII: Aeris v Aerith

SURPRISE, SHE’S ALIVE and she’s FURIOUS with her translation.

Spurred on by the fury of a thousand nerds screaming that her name is actually I think you’ll find Aerith, she has resurrected and is out for blood, the blood of anyone who calls her Aeris. Or is it Aerith? Oh god I don’t care.

Final Fantasy Triple Triad: No Random Rule Edition

Because you deserve better.

Final Fantasy XV: Best Boy Parade

This spinoff is nothing more than dressing up whichever of The Boys is your favourite, and getting them to parade endlessly through the streets of Altissia, serenaded by hot tunes and dancing Moogles. Look it’s just the best OK, the boys are the best, and getting to celebrate them is the best. Shut up.

Final Fantasy VI: Ultros’ Song

Inspired by the popular opera section in FFVI, Ultros got his own spinoff where he sings a lonely song of despair and not being able to take part in the fun adventures his ‘friends’ had in FFVI, because every time he tried to make friends with them they’d beat up him savagely or throw him down a waterfall.

Poor Ultros, but man he can sing.

Final Fantasy: Moogle Dentist

Inspired by the stupidly popular Princess Dentist mobile games, this Moog-filled spinoff allows you to bash the heck out of Moogle’s mouths so you can fix their dentistry issues.

Why would you play this, why are the princess dentist games popular, what’s going on, I don’t understand anything anymore.

Cooking With Quina

Alright joking aside I would play the shit out of this one.

Happy birthday Final Fantasy, you have done some Good Games.