"Sister Tabitha has been asleep 8 years. On route to investigate the disappearance of the orbital Monastery "Enoch's Hope"; She is haunted by reoccurring dreams of a Dimethyltryptamine harvesting "Garden of paradise."Read full description
"Sister Tabitha has been asleep 8 years. On route to investigate the disappearance of the orbital Monastery "Enoch's Hope"; She is haunted by reoccurring dreams of a Dimethyltryptamine harvesting "Garden of paradise."
At least that's what the box said to the obscure avante garde 90's game the "Shovelware Queens" started reviewing.
The Unlicensed Bible game that should have been buried in a desert is back !! and this time its taking no prisoners on its metaphysical "psychosis quest" into the very nature of God and death.
Voice over By award winning SWANS no-wave high priestess Jarboe
Ancient Hebrew story telling techniques of Allegory and Typology.
Rich Context that infinitely rewards further investigation.
Gamestyles including a complete re-imagining of Asteroids, High octane "Ghett-ro" Euroshmup action and "Non-Game" meta weirdness.
Metaphysics drawn from over 7 years of research.
Pulsing keytar soundtrack by Dylan Barry (Super killer hornet Resurrection, NPPD RUSH, Psichodelya)
Context Uriel's Chasm is a weird mixture of LSD, those old, dubious NES Bible games, and a semi bullet-hell top-down shooter. Note that this review is somewhat serious. You can't be too serious with this game, but I've addressed actual points about the game. But please, do read the joke reviews. I think they complement the game pretty well. Anyway... Wow. Just wow. As did probably 90% of the people here, I got the game for free. Also, it seems to have taken Bad Rat's torch as a joke game, and contender for the worst on steam. With that said, it's not that bad. Well, I mean, it's pretty awful, in many aspects. But it has a quite strong so bad it's good vibe going for it. Just browsing the reviews here was pretty fun, and I booted this game up expecting the absolute worst ♥♥♥♥ ever, as a result. Still, it was amusing, to say the least. Presentation Many people complain about the game's visual style. Honestly, I think this is one of its strongest aspects. The backgrounds are almost Giger-esque. There are completely arbitrary "Full Motion Video" cutscenes, but let's ignore those, shall we? I think that, designed as a retro game, it looks pretty solid! It's trippy, and it looks very cheesy at times, but I found it charming, in its own way. The music was surprisingly good as well! Well, sometimes. It's synth based, but it has quite a lot of attack, I liked the sound of it. They also went completely apeshit with the final boss, in the best way possible! The sound-effects were just there. Completely barebones Regarding its interface, huds, menus and feedback, it's absolutely dreadful! Haha, it really is. In the first screen, you can press "C" to get the objective for the first level. Needless to say, the game doesn't tell you that. Regardless, if you do press it, you'll have to exit the game, as there's no way of going back. ... No clue. There are also no options what-so-ever, and the game never saves. You have to beat it in one sitting. It's very short, so I don't really mind that. No skipping, here! A big issue I've had, is that you can't skip anything. There are cutscenes, biblical text, and the game always forces it on the player... There was a point in the game where you were given a screen with a citation from the bible. The worst thing about it is that the time is predetermined. With some of the citations, it was took long, while for others it was too short, so that you couldn't even finish reading it. It's so easy to make that right... just say "Press X to advance" or something of the sort! From what I've seen, they really, really want you to read those passages... The game suffers as a result. The long cutscenes are also annoying, and unskippable. Even after the first playthrough, you'll have to sit through everything... Moving on... Structure & Mechanics This game has only 4 levels, one of them being the final Boss fight. The interesting thing is that each level is basically a different genre! They don't do any of the genres well, needless to say, but it's interesting! There are some good ideas here, but they're all butchered by awful design details. I'll break this part into each level, as they're pretty short and simple to review. First Level In this, you have a space-ship, and 4 "attributes". Fuel, Ammo, Faith, and a Garden (?). The level is just a big square, with asteroids and a huge rotating creature that is invincible. Don't ask questions. Your objective is to destroy asteroids. They can drop: a bible, ammo, or an enemy -- if you destroy the enemy, you get fuel. When you destroy a big asteroid, it's broken in more, smaller asteroids, and those are the ones that drop something. Basically, you collect to bible to increase your faith. Your objective is to get your faith up to the Garden number. After you collect a bible, your faith is also increased every second, or so. You lose if you run out of fuel, or ammo. You can basically get one bible, and then just avoid things, being mostly quiet, not to waste resources. Getting hit decreases your faith (and maybe increases the Garden level, although I'm not sure). The brilliant idea to make your Faith be increased after you collect your first bible is this: Each bible gives you a citation, that appears at the bottom of the screen. Reading it, of course, is stupid. You in the middle of a video game, you can't read and shoot at the same time! So, in order for you to read it, they increase your Faith. That way, you can mostly be quiet, and able to read. ... Let that sink in. That makes absolutely no sense to me. I mean, it's a freaking piece of text, IN THE GAME SCREEN. Why...? N-no. Don't do that, come on. It seems completely out of context as well. Again, remember the NES ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Bible games and you can probably understand! Oh well. Second Level This is more of a Gradius-like shooter, with a bit of a bullet-hell element. Your character looks like a small super-hero, with a big tin on your back. I repeat, don't ask questions. Your hit-box is really small, in the form of a red cross. However, they never explain it, and your character is huge. The enemies shoot lots of bullets, here, and you'll probably die a lot. It's just a memorization exercise. Once you know the level, you know where the enemies will spawn, and you can play accordingly. You can take 6 hits, but here's the issue: there are no invincibility frames, nor is there any feedback when you get hit. Any what-so-ever. Yep. I honestly don't understand why that it, but I also didn't take LSD before playing this. The playing field is also pretty narrow, and the edges hurt you... It's awful. There a bullethell-ish boss fight at the end, but he only has 1 phase, and it's pretty easy to beat. It sounds mostly really bad so far, right? Well, it is. But the enemies have interesting patterns! I think the level design was pretty good, honestly. Each enemy guided you in a certain way, and it felt satisfying when you beat it. But then, there are all the other issues. Third Level This level is just a 2D platformer. You can walk sideways, and jump. That's all. ...AH! You should never think that with this game. Actually, the level flashes with different colors, and is slowly rotating. Also, your object is to collect "trees" -- as in, crucified Jesuses that give you yet another biblical passage out of nowhere. Here applies the problem with the time to read it being either too short, or too long. It's easy, though. Boss Fight. I don't want to spoil this. I'm assuming you fight Satan, although I'll never know for sure. This is another epilepsy-inducing fight, with flashing eye-bullets, and a rotating background. It's a bullet-hell, with a bit hitbox... Don't... ask. It requires attention, and I died a lot, but it's fairly short, and it didn't get too frustrating, to me. Conclusion I don't know what to feel. I mean, the game is clearly awful, despite having a few nice ideas. It's all over the place... Do NOT buy it. Seriously, it's not worth it, if you're looking for a game to play. If, however, you've gotten it for free, or you are intentionally looking for one of the weirdest and cheesiest games to play, then sure, give this one a go. It's amusing.
Uriel's Chasm isn't really the greatest game out there. Rather it falls somewhere in the bottom of the list. The gameplay varies from stage to stage. Changing from bullethell to platformer to a side scrolling shooter. The game is basically a collection of mini-games. The side scrolling and bullethell parts of the game are actually quite fun due to the challenge they pose. They're short but still enjoyable. The graphics are pretty low resolution but they do their job, although they could be more professional looking. The soundtrack and sound effects are rather weak as well, sometimes even missing. Definitely one of the weaker aspects of the game. Overall Uriel's Chasm poses a good challenge for about 60 to 90 minutes it takes to beat it and it is somewhat of an unique experience.
And a very camp one at that. The point I have to make is the game is trying to be bad on purpose, from live actions 80s-like cheese, to the absurdity of the story itself. It's very abstract and weird. Some parts of the game are actually like a shoot-em-up, so it has varying game style. If you can appreciate something different that's trying to be like a b-movie acid trip and, again, bad on purpose, you might like this game. Final verdict: 6/10 ( if only for the novelty factor).
The game was trippy as heck, and I have no idea what's really going on sometimes. People keep saying it's supposed to be avant garde, and so I tried to hold back my reservations. This resulted in an interesting time going through what I imagined to be the manic dreams of a gamer who's had too much. I will give this game credit for holding me in it long enough to want to get it. And now that I have it, I'm not sure I want to relive all that again. But perhaps one day I will. You might get turned off by what can look like a mess, but try and play this game long enough and maybe you can look past the surreality and find meaning in this pixel nightmare. Overall rating: 66%, might play again.
This game was not for me. I didn't understand the UI and I never felt like I had enough time to read the paragraph of flavor text that would pop up every so often when I got...something? It was a very confusing 15 minutes and I just wasn't interested in it.
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