2018’s most anticipated games

2018 is shaping up to be an epic year for videogames. Don’t believe us? Then see how this little lot grabs you.

2017 may have been a year in which the real world felt like it was rapidly going to hell in a handbasket, but at least it produced a fine crop of games. 2018 doesn’t look its everyday reality will be much better, with the lemming-like rush to Brexit gathering pace and Trump still in power, so we’ll be needing another fine crop of videogames with which to distract ourselves.

Luckily, it looks like that is exactly what we will be getting. Here’s our round-up of the games scheduled to arrive in 2018 which we most look forward to playing. We reckon you will agree that there are some pretty tasty morsels in there.

Far Cry V

 

The fifth instalment of Ubisoft’s action-shooter has attracted plenty of controversy thanks to its oh-so-topical far-right US cult theme. So what if it might turn out to be tonally inconsistent? We want to see what the hunting is like in its open world and take down some rednecks.

  

Final Fantasy VII remake

This may be wishful thinking – Square Enix has been so tight-lipped about it that we fear it might not arrive until 2019. But can we have it now, please?

 

Red Dead Redemption 2

What do we know about the second instalment of Rockstar Games’ epic open-world Wild West action-adventure game? Nothing: the publisher has merely teased us with a tiny amount of oblique imagery. Do we care? No: we just want to play it.

 

Ni no Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom

With its second instalment, the Japanese RPG retains its unbelievable charm but takes things to a much more modern place than its predecessor. This time around, it has a proper real-time battle-system, along with clever mechanics that let you control whole battle-units. But the lashings of epic boss-battles and endearing quests are still present and correct. Plus visually, it is even more irresistible.

 

Sea of Thieves

At last, the legendary Rare Software is poised to make a comeback, with a mad, online-only, cartoonish high-seas pirate epic. It’s about time a game gave us the chance to live a vicarious life on the ocean waves.

 

Detroit: Become Human

 

David Cage’s latest thought-provoking epic will explore what it feels like to be an android attempting to integrate into a human world. We’ve had a bit of hands-on time with it, and it’s utterly compelling, with moral dilemmas around every corner, superb graphics and – as you would expect from Cage – innovative gameplay.

 

Crackdown 3 

Microsoft’s biggest exclusive of the year sees the return of another industry legend: Dave Jones, of Lemmings and early Grand Theft Auto fame. Along with an innovative cloud-based system that should generate the most lavish destructibility ever seen in a game. Expect epic third-person shooter action.

 

Yoshi 

No: that isn’t what it will be called. But Nintendo is making a Yoshi game, and it will come out next year. Whatever they call it, we want to play it.

 

Dreams

 

The latest PS4 game-changer from Media Molecule (of LittleBigPlanet fame) will give even the most inept of us the means of making our own games. From what we’ve seen it of it, it should be mind-blowingly clever. Could decimate Minecraft.

 

Monster Hunter World

Monster Hunter’s cult status in Japan might just finally break through to the rest of the world, thanks to this step-change iteration, which brings state-of-the-art graphics and much less clunky controls to the franchise’s incredibly addictive gameplay.

 

Strange Brigade 

You’ll struggle to find a more quintessentially British game than Rebellion’s forthcoming third-person action-adventure game. It’s set in various outposts of the old British Empire, and promises some highly memorable characters and action.

 

The Last of Us Part II

 

Who could resist the temptation to sample the further adventures of Joel and Ellie, as they continue their quest for survival in a post-apocalyptic USA? Should generate serious bragging rights for PS4 owners.

 

Metal Gear Survive 

In which the Metal Gear world (after the events of Ground Zeroes) falls through a wormhole and ends up in an alternate universe full of zombies. Expect no-compromise stealth action and all manner of weirdness.

 

Kingdom Hearts III

The latest instalment of Square Enix’s JRPG populated by Disney characters promises to be the most forward-looking one yet. Expect plenty of bizarre but lovable cartoon shenanigans.

 

Code Vein 

If you like From Software games like Dark Souls and Bloodborne, you should feel right at home with this dark, vampire-themed hack-n-slash-RPG from Bandai Namco’s God Eater team.

 

Soul Calibur VI

 

It’s been ages since the last instalment of the revered swordfight-em-up, but its sixth instalment is super-responsive, looks fabulous and in general feels right on the money.

 

Kingdom Come: Deliverance

This RPG from Deep Silver may be relatively unheralded, but while it may look conventional, with its mediaeval Czechoslovakian setting, it takes risks, by giving you control of a character who begins with no skills, and bringing a new level of realism (in both historical accuracy and the things your character is able to do) to the RPG blueprint.

 

Project Octopath Traveler 

Another RPG for the Switch that promises to make a huge impact. This one takes a 2D/3D approach which should get plenty of nostalgic juices running.

Green Man Gaming’s Winter Sale 2017!

It’s happening! Our Winter Sale has begun!

But what does that mean?

Well it means cheap games, for you, the person who loves games. You do love games right? I mean if you’re here and you don’t love games…I’ll have to check your credentials. We don’t want any non-game-lovers getting by into the Winter Sale Zone.

OK, you can pass.

The Winter Sale offers up to 90% off big games, little games, hidden gems, million sellers, and much more. You can even get an extra 17% off select titles by using the code GMG17 when checking out. Some restrictions apply to the voucher so if it doesn’t work on everything that’s totally normal.

But enough about that, what about the games? What’s good in the sale? Here’s some of our picks.

Assassin’s Creed Origins – 42% Off (With Voucher)

The climbiest, the jumpiest, the sneakiest, the Egyptiest, the cattiest, the cameliest, the desertest Assassin’s Creed yet. And it’s also a cracking return to form for the series, so it’s well worth a look at that price!

Conan Exiles – 44% Off (With Voucher)

It’s not just about wangs, there’s also a survival game that’s Conan inspired behind them. Look past the wangs and enjoy a game about picking up heavy rocks and smashing them onto the craniums of newly spawned fellow players. Joy.

Destiny 2 – 40% Off

Get the game everyone has an opinion about for a whopping 40% off, and you too can get your own opinion! Don’t rely on the terrible opinions online, you can make your OWN online opinion!

Injustice 2 -42% Off (With Voucher)

If you’ve ever smashed toys together or watched an Avengers film, then you’ll be right at home in this ‘what if Superman beat up Aquaman’ game. Featuring the best cutscene facial animations since…well…live action.

Middle-Earth: Shadow of War – 42% Off (With Voucher)

Buy the game everyone is describing as ‘really great’ and ‘no you don’t have to buy anything to complete the game’, for a huge 42% off. You get to ride drakaes and kill balrogs, and anything that lets you do that HAS to be good, right?

South Park The Fractured But Whole – 58% Off (With Voucher)

*fart noise*

Look if you like South Park, you should be buying this. It’s contentious so if you’re not fussed about South Park give it a miss, but if you love South Park, this is the game for you. It’s South Park. Do you get the message?

Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Wildlands – 58% Off (With Voucher)

Ghost Recon Wildlands

Save Bolivia from drug cartels, and also NOW you can get chased down in the forests by an invisible apex predator who wants your blood. Who DOESN’T want that?

There’s loads more on the sale and that’s just some of the picks we’ve got for it, so check it out. Check it out now!

Check it out.

Go on.

Check it out.

You might as well.

What else are you going to do today.

Go on, check it out.

Press the link.

Go to the sale.

Buy a game.

Buy two games.

Don’t buy three, that’s greedy.

I’m joking, buy three games.

Thanks.

<3

War Tech Fighters Has Been Updated a Tonne

War Tech Fighters! It’s a game, a game about blowing stuff up in space in your giant space mech.

Look if that sentence doesn’t excite you then you’re dead inside, that’s just fact. Sorry, you might need to go see a doctor about your inner dead self, get it removed or something so you can feel joy again.

It’s been in early access for a few months and devs Drakkar have been hard at work bringing new features, bug fixes, and updates to the space smack’em up. So much so that the game might be unrecognisable if you haven’t played it for a few months.

Here’s a look at some of the stuff that’s been added just recently:

First Person Mode

This is a big deal for War Tech Fighters, you can now switch from the default 3rd person to a 1st person view as you zoom around the universe, making it more immersive and lending a different perspective to your interplanetary flights. Close combat remains in 3rd person – cos you want to be able to see that giant sword coming, yeah?

Missiles Are Faster

It’s space so missiles SHOULD go fast right? They’re deadly and dangerous and that goes for you AND your opponents. Yeah you’ll be blasting your enemies a little faster than before, but watch that you don’t get a missile up the wazoo.

Areas Improved

New search and stealth safe areas have been implemented, meaning you know where to go, and where you’re safe and where you’re in danger with much more clarity now. The devs are listening!

Health and Energy Bars

The UI is improving all the time, with new Health and Energy bars now showing next to your minimap. The Drakkar team is devoted to making sure the game is catered to the players, so they’re taking on board info and feedback all the time and implementing small, quality of life improvements like this with every update.

New Story Missions

There’s a whole raft of new content in the game for you to discover, explore, fight, and smash your way through.

New Components

The best thing about piloting a War Tech is getting to tweak it and upgrade it, and the new upgrades and components you can use to customise your War Tech however you like.

Perks System

Swords and shields are tweaked a little further with the introduction of perks, meaning your sword can drain energy, or your shield might boost your crits, and much more!

New weapons, new enemies, new sounds, new visuals, new shields, new swords, new EVERYTHING!

Look there’s just a lot being added to War Tech Fighters every month, and if you hop in to Early Access your voice can be heard and you can help shape this unique space combat game.

Check out what’s new in War Tech Fighters over on the Steam updates page, and remember you can pick up War Tech Fighters right now with a whopping 40% discount, plus an extra 17% off when you use the code GMG17!

Go my pilots, go and ride War Techs into BATTLE

10 games you should play this Christmas

And…. relax: it’s Christmas. Christmas, of course, brings myriad joys, but there’s a particular aspect of the holiday season that gamers love: it’s a rare period in which the hurly-burly of working life is put on hold and, for once, we’re left with some time on our hands. A period, in other words, to play all those games which came out in 2017, but we simply didn’t have the time to immerse ourselves in.

So, once you’ve got to the stage when you never want to see anything with turkey in it ever again, the time will have come to fire up your PC or console, and hunker down for some serious gaming. Now, there’s no question that 2017 was a very fine year for games indeed: here’s our selection of the 10 games which came out this year that you absolutely must play.

PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds

PUBG – as everyone calls it – was the undisputed games phenomenon of 2017. Its concept is simple but original: 100 players are parachuted onto an island, where they must scrabble around collecting the necessary weapons and objects to allow them to survive. But as each round progresses, the map contracts, bringing surviving players together; the last person standing has the immense satisfaction of being declared the ultimate winner.

Although it emerged from the modding scene, rather than some lavishly funded studio, PUBG is unbelievably intense, addictive and compelling. It has just arrived on the Xbox One (sadly, it looks like it will be ages before it reaches other consoles), but it’s currently best played on the PC. As it’s the game that everyone is talking about, you simply need to check it out.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Haven’t yet invested in a Switch? Why on earth not? Firstly, Nintendo’s amazing transforming console/handheld is a genius piece of kit, and secondly, the only excuse you need for buying one is the existence of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Not only is it most people’s game of the year for 2017, but it looks set to feature on those lists of the best games ever in years to come.

We all know how brilliant the Zelda games are, with their RPG mechanics allied to cute plots and a general vibe that is designed to appeal to all ages. But Breath of the Wild marks a step-change for the Legend of Zelda series. It has a proper – not to mention utterly beautiful and beguiling – open world, which is a joy to navigate as Link, with his ever-growing collection of abilities.

It’s a huge game, supplemented by excellent DLC and more than anything, its take on the world of Hyrule is the ideal place in which to lose yourself and forget the trials and tribulations of the real world for a while. Every gamer should play it.

Assassin’s Creed: Origins

With a new Assassin’s Creed game coming out every year, a certain amount of disillusion was threatening to set in regarding the historical action-adventure franchise. But credit to publisher Ubisoft: it gave the series a year off, which meant an extra year in development for Origins. That policy paid off, because Origins marks a massive return to form.

As the name suggests, it’s an origins story – detailing the beginnings of the eternal struggle between Assassins and Templars. It takes place in Ancient Egypt – 48BC, to be exact – so characters like Cleopatra, Ptolemy, Pompey the Great and Julius Caesar himself feature.

A cleverly revamped combat system makes it more action-oriented than its predecessors. But perhaps its best aspect is its lush and activity-packed open world, which is huge and startlingly convincing. It offers a great facsimile of what Ancient Egypt might have been like when its pyramids and tombs were shiny and new (obviously, tomb-raiding looms large in Origins), and places like Alexandria’s great library still existed.

Super Mario Odyssey

Everybody loves Mario. But full-blown, original Mario games don’t come around very often. Super Mario Odyssey is arguably the most significant Mario game since 1996’s Super Mario 64. As ever, Bowser has kidnapped Princess Peach; Mario must chase him and his cronies across 14 open-worlds, collecting Moons in order to power up his airship, the Odyssey.

This time around, he has a magic cap called Cappy, which he can chuck at enemies and objects, either to defeat them or to temporarily possess them and acquire their abilities. It’s every bit as mad, endering and hilarious to behold as you would expect from a Mario game. And it’s huge, with loads of new puzzles, activities and even a bonus world opening up when you finish the main story. Would have been 2017’s game of the year by a country mile, had it not been for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

Horizon: Zero Dawn

This PlayStation 4-exclusive developed by Guerrilla Games simply oozes class. It’s an action-RPG, following the fortunes of Aloy, armed with primitive ranged weapons and spears, in a gorgeous-looking open-world in which giant dinosaur-like robots run riot. It offers a post-apocalyptic scenario, in which humans have regressed to primitive tribalism.

Horizon: Zero Dawn looks fabulous, and its combat and action feel fresh and innovative. Guerrilla Games also nailed its interlocking systems, so its game-world seems to live and breathe, with all manner of emergent behaviour. Another huge game in which to bury yourself, it’s a must-buy for PS4 owners.

Nier: Automata

This action-RPG seemed to emerge with zero fanfare, but it swiftly generated a massive impact. Developed by the legendary Platinum Games (of Bayonetta fame), it has plenty of that slightly bonkers, stylised vibe in which Japanese developers specialise, and generally feels quite unlike any other games that are out there.

While it adheres to many action-RPG conventions, it also mixes in unexpected elements, such as side-scrolling shoot-em-up sequences. It has a great story, detailing the struggle between a dwindling band of humans and the machines that are threatening to take over. And its combat is irresistibly smooth and fun.

Studded with excellent boss-battles, it also boasts multiple endings. If you’re looking for something a bit different, which your games-playing mates might not have come across, then Nier: Automata fits the bill perfectly.

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus

In 1992, Wolfenstein 3D defined the first-person shooter as we now know it. Fast-forward to 2017 and while Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus contains some of the first game’s DNA (such as the need to collect shards of armour and scavenge enemies for ammo), it also represents the state of the art for FPS games.

It has a great alternative-history premise, imagining that the Nazis won World War II and now occupy the USA. As it takes place in 1961, the Nazis have been in power for a while. Luckily, you’re here, in the guise of the (literally) indestructible BJ Blazkowicz, to galvanise the resistance and fight back against an ageing Hitler (who has a cameo role)and his henchpeople.

Among other things, Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus is a genuinely funny game: you can tell that developer MachineGames had an absolute ball imagining what a Nazi-occupied 1960s America would be like. There are all manner of references to 1960s culture, and some brilliant high-tech, Nazi-style weapons and gadgets.

But above all, it offers high-octane, super-slick first-person-shooter action of the very highest order. A must if you’re fond of proper, single-player FPS games – and it’s even coming to the Switch next year.

Project Cars 2

2017 was a great year for driving games, with Sony and Microsoft releasing their high-budget big-guns, Gran Turismo Sport and Forza Motorsport 7. But our favourite driving game of the year was developed by a small, maverick London outfit called Slightly Mad Studios, and was partly crowd-funded. Project Cars 2 couldn’t have been more of an underdog.

Nevertheless, it features incredible car-feel and plenty of features that other driving games can only dream of. Such as tracks that evolve during races as rubber is laid down, and tyres which degrade as you put the laps in.

Project Cars 2 aims to recreate the experience of real motor-sport, so it’s more of a simulator-style game, but you can crank up the driver-aids if you don’t have the natural ability of a Lewis Hamilton. Its Career mode really gives you a sense of what it would be like to make a living from racing, making Gran Turismo Sport’s single-player campaign feel disjointed and insubstantial. If you take your racing games with deadly seriousness, you’ll love it.

Destiny 2

Bungie’s ambitious attempt to merge first-person shooter gameplay with the sociability and epic questing of an MMO hadn’t quite gelled in the original Destiny when it launched in 2014. But the developer, previously famed for making the Halo games, tweaked it and honed it. And Destiny 2 finally enabled us to realise what the franchise is all about.

It has a great, meaty single-player campaign to draw you in, but it’s what happens when you’ve finished that which will really get you hooked. With an ever-expanding roster of co-op Strikes and epically long and tricky Raids, plus the ever-present Crucible offering lashings of player-versus-player action, you’ll find yourself playing it as if it was an MMO, assembling a team composed of your mates. If you like to play games with other people, it’s just the ticket.

Star Wars: Battlefront II

The second instalment of Electronic Arts’ transplantation of Battlefield’s gameplay to the Star Wars universe arrived with a loot box controversy. But the giant US publisher has tweaked Battlefront II to ease those concerns, and anyway, you should ignore such considerations, since it’s infectiously brilliant to play.

This time around, Battlefront II even has a decent single-player campaign, which is being expanded via DLC. But it’s at its best online, with an ever-shifting selection of epic Star Wars battles in which to participate – the space-battles are noticeably more enjoyable than those in the original game. Or you can take part in more intimate scenarios, with smaller bands of Empire and Rebel Alliance fighters taking each other on in team deathmatches and the like. It’s fabulous to look at and super-slick, and should get any Star Wars fan very excited indeed.

Board Games to Beat Monopoly This Christmas

Christmas. Picture it. Eating, opening presents, watching that DVD your Nan got you. You’re not allowed to go play real games, so you have to settle for a board game to ‘be social’. What board game is that? The only one that exists, of course! Monopoly.

Monopoly can burn in hell.

Not only is Christmas supposed to be about joy and giving, but games are supposed to be about escapism and simulating something that isn’t real for fun. Monopoly simulates…monopolies which force people to become blood-thirsty capitalists and destroy their humanity for the sake of more funny-coloured money. Just like in real life. It’s too real, it’s too horrid, let’s reinvent the Christmas board game.

Small World

Have you played Risk? Of course you haven’t, because you haven’t got 6 hours and an affinity for tiny, monochromatic soldiers standing on a incredibly realistic (read: boring) map of the world. Enter my preferred version, Small World. Taking the territory holding mechanic from Risk and throwing everything else on the bonfire, Small World has a collection of fantasy races to choose from, that will be queued up with a randomly selected trait, meaning few games are ever the same. You think your Alchemist Undead will rule supreme, but actually your mum is finding surprising success with her civilization of dragon-wielding Halflings. Whoever gets the most gold by the end of Turn 10 wins! There’s also 2 double-sided boards, so it’s different whether there’s 2, 3, 4, or 5 players.

GMG Tip for crushing your opponents: Since you’ll get through multiple civs, try to line them up intelligently. Great starting races are ones that can remain untouched for the longest time like Tritons as they can take the sea tiles, as well as any race which grabs the ‘sea-fearing’ trait. Then transition into Undead or Sorcerers who can get self-replicate so they’ll last a good long time.

Dead of Winter

You’re cooped up inside a house, it’s cold and dark outside, task distribution and disagreements are commonplace and everyone’s nerves at getting high. Time to play a board game that will snarkily compare Christmas time to trying to survive a zombie apocalypse! Pick a character and do things like make repairs and improvements to your hideout, go on raids to get more supplies, but hark! Each character has their own objective and sometimes one will be a saboteur who wins the game when everyone is dead. So a bit like monopoly really but it’s death by zombie and not financial ruin.

GMG Tip for crushing your opponents: Try to balance your own secret objective with being a part of the team. Also there is no game-defined leader so feel free to act incredibly confident at all times to get your own way and order people about.

King of Tokyo (or New York)

Pick your Kaiju (giant monster) and wreck your opponents and hold the city of Tokyo or New York. The first Kaiju to get 20 points wins the round. You can get points by holding the city, but watch out! Whilst you’re holding the city you can’t heal, and all other Kaiju attacks are coming straight at you. You can save up energy to upgrade yourself, but really the game is about joining together to fucking kill your cocky brother who keeps sitting in Tokyo racking up points and taking potshots at you with his new atomic breath. It’s not very complex, it’s fast and with a few good dice rolls the end result can be surprising.

GMG Tip for crushing your opponents: Read your opponents, if they baulk at taking any damage, sit in Tokyo and attack them over and over, all your attacks from within the city hit all opponents, so it’ll force them to be passive and spend all their time healing. Meanwhile you’re getting 2 points a turn at least, more if you roll well.

Ticket To Ride

Build your railway empire across the United States to win this lovely game. This is similar to Monopoly as it has railways and building, but there’s no grinding your beloved Grandpa into crippling debt, you simply win if you’ve connected the most routes between cities by the end of the game. Collect and play different coloured trains to build route segments, and balance your turns between building furiously and patiently collecting train cards to lay down those point-spewing long routes.

GMG Tip for crushing your opponents: Try to get the tickets that represent routes you’re already planning on working on to be the most efficient, and if possible get a train that goes to one after the other. You get points for each ticket you complete and deducted for those you don’t, so stack up as many tickets as possible that are in your ‘area’.

Settlers of Catan

Be the King of Wood. I actually haven’t played Settlers of Catan (or, to give it its street name, C’tan), but the nerds seem to love it a lot, and it doesn’t seem that complicated at all. Give it a shot, let us know how it goes.

GMG Tip for crushing your opponents: Here’s some tips I found on the internet.

Funemployed

Party card game. This is where I would suggest Cards Against Humanity and you would sigh because the concept of your family saying unusually rude things has gotten stale. Instead, Funemployed gives each player the task of pitching themselves for a job using a hand of traits. Yes you will have to pitch why you would be a good porn star to your auntie and explain why you’ve picked ‘good cricketer’, ‘complicated love life’ and ‘owns inflatable sword’ as your traits because that’s all you had in your hand. But if, like me, you enjoy a bit of improv you can win just by being creative and ludicrous, just like in Cards Against Humanity.

GMG Tip for crushing your opponents: Do an impression of the employer’s favourite comedian pitching the job, wins every time.

Epic Spell Wars Of The Battle Wizards: Duel At Mt. Skullzfyre

Be a wizard and kill other wizards by crafting spells! Each player has a hand of spell components and will take turns making spells that have 3 parts. Some go for all out damage, some heal, some can target that one wizard who is really annoying you (again, cocky brother). The artstyle is great/really gross, and will go down a right treat. Everyone will appreciate it when you win the game by playing the Testikill spell. Despite dice rolls dictating how much damage and healing your spells do, there is some strategy in gaining Treasures and choosing who to target. Or just yolo and do as much damage to everyone as possible, all the time.

GMG Tip for crushing your opponents: You can leave out cards to make sure you get the first turn, since the speed of the spell sets who goes first. 2-card spells always beat 3-cards, and 1-cards always beat everything else. There’s a spell card that has the highest speed value, so keep that for those last 1v1 moments where 1-card spells are common.

 

If you’ve got a board game you’d like to replace Monopoly with, let us know so we can all crush that game out of existence forever.

Final Fantasy at 30 – The Forgotten Final Fantasies

Final Fantasy is 30! That’s old enough to vote! And then also like, 12 more years on top of that.

But did you know that there’s a load of games that were spinoffs of the main Final Fantasy series? It’s true, check ’em out below, see how many YOU didn’t know about.

Final Fantasy 18

Experience the beautiful Blitzball game like never before with Final Fantasy 18.

Featuring a huge host of new updates to player and Blitzball stadium models, Final Fantasy 18 is the most realistic and immersive in the series to date.

Whether you want to build a world-beating squad in Ultimate Boys, discover the next step in Tidus Hunter’s football career in The Fantasy Journey 2, or just fancy going head-to-head with your friends, Final Fantasy 18 has everything you need to live out your Blitzballing dreams!

Final Fantasy XII: Get Fit With Vaan

Get ripped with Vaan!

Complete his 1-part fitness programme to discover the joy and wonder of being truly fit, with abs to die for. This programme is easy to complete and even easier to start.

All you need is a marker pen and a shirt that bares your chest, and you’re halfway there! Simply draw the abs on and you’ll be rocking the best body you’ve ever had, and you’ll never feel better.

Surprisingly, this didn’t sell too well.

Final Fantasy VIII: All Dialogue Replaced With ‘Whatever’ Edition

Squall: ‘Whatever’

Rinoa: ‘Whatever’

Selphie: ‘Whatever’

Zell: ‘Whatever’

Quistis: ‘Whatever’

Seifer: ‘Whatever’

Final Fantasy Tictacs

No-one could have foreseen that Square Enix would go into business with a sweet manufacturer specialising in breath mints, but they did and you’ll be surprised to learn that the game is 100% bad.

After a war breaks out in Mintalice, you have to guide your minty pals through a series of turn-based battles, fighting foes such as ‘The Anti-Mint’ and ‘Jeremy the Mint Basher’.

It’s not great.

Final Fantasy VII: Aeris’ Revenge

SURPRISE, SHE’S ALIVE and she’s FURIOUS.

This spinoff sequel to Final Fantasy VII has Aeris being resurrected by the remnants of Jenova, only to go on a rampage. Can you stop her before she destroys the world?

Final Fantasy Triple Triad: Only Random Rule Edition

Because fuck you.

Final Fantasy VII: Aeris v Aerith

SURPRISE, SHE’S ALIVE and she’s FURIOUS with her translation.

Spurred on by the fury of a thousand nerds screaming that her name is actually I think you’ll find Aerith, she has resurrected and is out for blood, the blood of anyone who calls her Aeris. Or is it Aerith? Oh god I don’t care.

Final Fantasy Triple Triad: No Random Rule Edition

Because you deserve better.

Final Fantasy XV: Best Boy Parade

This spinoff is nothing more than dressing up whichever of The Boys is your favourite, and getting them to parade endlessly through the streets of Altissia, serenaded by hot tunes and dancing Moogles. Look it’s just the best OK, the boys are the best, and getting to celebrate them is the best. Shut up.

Final Fantasy VI: Ultros’ Song

Inspired by the popular opera section in FFVI, Ultros got his own spinoff where he sings a lonely song of despair and not being able to take part in the fun adventures his ‘friends’ had in FFVI, because every time he tried to make friends with them they’d beat up him savagely or throw him down a waterfall.

Poor Ultros, but man he can sing.

Final Fantasy: Moogle Dentist

Inspired by the stupidly popular Princess Dentist mobile games, this Moog-filled spinoff allows you to bash the heck out of Moogle’s mouths so you can fix their dentistry issues.

Why would you play this, why are the princess dentist games popular, what’s going on, I don’t understand anything anymore.

Cooking With Quina

Alright joking aside I would play the shit out of this one.

Happy birthday Final Fantasy, you have done some Good Games.

Esports Corner: Don’t miss the last esports action of 2017

What a year it has been in the world of esports. 365 days of explosive industry growth and compelling action ultimately comes to a close this weekend as the world winds down for the holiday season. The best news is that there’s still some top tier action to give you your fill this weekend. Whether you’re in the freezing cold or glorious sunshine, there’s no excuse to miss the Counter-Strike or Dota 2 this weekend.

Cancun provides a glorious backdrop for ECS Season 4 Finals

Whilst the Esports Championship Series will head back to Wembley Arena for the next season, organisers FACEIT have opted for the glorious shores of Cancun, Mexico for Season 4. The Hard Rock Hotel will host eight of the world’s best teams as they battle it out for one final time in 2017. The four representatives from Europe are Fnatic, FaZe Clan, mousesports and Astralis whilst Cloud9, OpTic Gaming, Team Liquid and Luminosity will represent North America.

Credit: FACEIT

Having failed to qualify for the finals, Season 3 champions and recent ESL Pro League winners SK Gaming will not have the chance to defend their title and have a shot at the lion’s share of a mammoth $750,000 in prize money.

There’s good reason to think that FaZe Clan are big favourites for this tournament. The juggernaut “all-star” team were toppled by SK Gaming in the final last weekend but without the Brazilian arch-enemy they should have the firepower to propel them to glory. Astralis would normally be right up there, but given Dev1ce’s extended medical leave they will struggle to match the full strength opposition that awaits. Again, RUBINO will stand-in but given their less than stellar performance last week on home-soil, it would take a bold man to predict glory for the Danish outfit this weekend.

The dark horse for the tournament are Swedish side Fnatic. Although they still haven’t quite recaptured former glory, the Jesper “JW” Wecksell spearheaded squad did manage to beat FaZe in a best of one at the ESL Pro League finals. Should they be able to replicate that form consistently, they’re most definitely a roster to be feared. Consistency has often been lacking but it would be a fantastic story were they to round off what’s been a fairly miserable 2017 with victory in Cancun.

Enjoy the very different Dota Minor as The Summit 8 concludes

The Summit has and always will be a fan favourite tournament in the Dota 2 calendar. Based on Starcraft’s HomeStory Cup, the event takes place at Beyond the Summit’s gaming house. Professional setups and suited analysts are swapped for a sofa where casters are joined by professionals who aren’t playing to offer something very different from other events. The whole event feels beautifully intimate, but there’s still $300,000 on the line out in Los Angeles and there’s yet more pro circuit points up for grabs. The Dota world is in for a treat, with the likes of OG, EG, OpTic and Virtus.pro all gracing the house and therefore some of the brightest minds commentating.

Credit: Beyond the Summit

OG has got off to a slow start this season. The previous Valve record-breakers notched their first victory last weekend out in Hong Kong and look like they’re starting to gather momentum with their post-TI roster. A lot will hinge on the performance of carry player Roman “Resolut1on” Fominok. The OG playstyle tends to revolve heavily around Roman, with Johan “n0tail” Sundstein playing less greedy heroes to compensate for the heavy farm style of his teammate. With the formidable support duo of Jesse “JerAx” Vainikka and Tal “Fly” Aizik in full flow though, they’re still one of the best teams in the world to watch. Whilst they’re not as flashy as many other teams, OG capitalise on the smallest of windows in games to drill home advantages and that’s what always makes them amongst the most dangerous teams in the world.

Virtus.pro will be playing with their coach Artstyle as a stand-in so may not fare as well as many would have hoped – whilst OpTic Gaming will be looking to show that since their recent roster swap they’re the real deal. There will be many that keep a keen eye on Fnatic, too. Their eclectic mixture of Western players and South East Asian talent is yet to properly flourish, although they have shown recent signs of a pick up in performance. The man that often holds the key to success is Jacky “EternalEnvy” Mao. Envy is known for his erratic performances that can often be straight up game winning or losing. He’s one of the most exciting players to watch, however, and is an extremely interesting chap to listen to when he’s on the sofa lending his expertise to a cast.

The Summit provides the perfect ending to what’s been a brilliant year of Dota 2. There’s been epic tournament aplenty, but it’s apt that a cosy fan-favourite tournament rounds off what’s been a hectic second half of 2017.

2017, you’ve been fantastic for esports. Here’s hoping for even better in 2018.

Which Countries Like Which Games? A Not So In-Depth Investigation

If like me you’re a human, then you’re also probably from, or living in, a country.

If you don’t know what a human or a country is then please go talk to your supervisor as you are clearly not ready to begin first contact procedures.

The world is made up of loads of different countries and despite us sharing lots of things, like values or a love for family, there’s a million tiny little differences and cultural oddities that differentiate us all. For example the French like Andouillette, the Moroccans love a Tagine, and the British conquer and exploit vast swathes of the planet under the banner of ’empire’. It’s our differences that help make us the multifaceted and wonderful species that we are.

This is true in gaming too, something we’ve noticed in our time selling ‘video games’ to people is that certain countries prefer certain games.

We don’t monitor every country, but here’s some of the big countries for whom we’ve got purchasing data for. Come, young child, see what their buying habits are REALLY like.

China Loves Injustice 2

For some reason Injustice 2 not only is the top seller in China right now, it’s outsold everything else put together. What could it be? Supermen smashing ten tonnes of snot out of each other? The conflict between good and evil? The Flash? Who knows! But all we know is that right now, China loves Injustice 2.

Brazil Wants To Be In VR

What’s it about killing demon after demon in glorious VR that’s pulling the Brazilians in? The second most sold game right now in Brazil is DOOM VFR. Why do you want to do demon murder Brazilians? Why do you want to smush demon heads? Are you OK?

Russia Is Nioh Land

Russia’s top seller right now is Nioh: Complete Edition, meaning that the Souls-esque Japanese Samurai Sword Fest is appealing to Russians in their droves. Maybe it is because game is hard and Russia breeds people strong? I don’t know, also that sentence was probably deeply problematic.

India Kills Zombies

The top selling game in India? Arizona Sunshine. Indian people want to murder some zombies in beautiful Arizona sun, while hiding away from reality in VR.

South Korea Hunts People Across a Barren Wasteland

PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds is made in South Korea so maybe this is a case of supporting the home team, but it might also be that PUBG is an amazing game and it’s frankly a little shocking this isn’t #1 in other countries!

UK and USA Love Their JRPGS

Star Ocean The Last Hope was pretty high on the charts for these two countries, showing that whilst the Revolutionary War may have divided these two nations, they are united through love of Japanese RPGs.

Argentina, Brazil, USA, UK, and Germany All Want to Expand their Destiny 2s

Not buy Destiny 2, but expand Destiny 2. The expansion hit the top slot almost everywhere, everyone wants a bit of hot Destiny action. Basically everyone wanted a bit of Destiny 2 this week, and they all dived straight into buying the Expansion Pass.

That’s it! My observations about Which Countries Like What. Turns out you’re all different, except for one thing. You mostly want more Destiny 2.

If Disney Buys Fox What Mashups Might We See?

It looks like Disney’s going to buy lots of properties from 21st Century Fox. Disney already owns a lot of stuff, and this might mean some great things for the future of films, like the X-Men and the Fantastic Four joining the MCU at last! Maybe we’ll get to see Wolverine slice open Spider-Man?

But what else might happen? We’re going to take a look at some what might emerge from the unholy union of Fox and Mouse.

Ripley and Stitch

A horrifying monster, perfectly bred for destruction, emerges from Honolulu. Only one woman has the experience and the ability to take it down. In Hawaii, no-one can hear you scream (except for the locals).

Avatar’s Pocahontas

A story of love between two people from different cultures, as a colonial war erupts around them. I’ll let you make your mind up which film I’m talking about here.

Planet of the Apes: King Louie’s Revenge

GET YOUR PAWS OFF MOWGLI YOU DAMN DIRTY APE, YOU MANIACS! YOU BALOO IT UP! AH, DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Indiana Jones Spends a Night at the Museum

An aged Indiana Jones is brought out of retirement one last time to face his greatest threat yet, all the stuff he’s nicked over the years has come back to life in a terrifying museum of wonders. Also Ben Stiller is there.

Ice Age 24: Elsa’s Glacier

That Scrat is after his nut again, and this time it’s in the hands of a certain Ice Queen! Part 24 of this long, long, long, long running series has never been funnier or more action packed! Probably.

Who Framed John McClane?

The same film as before but instead of a Eddie Valiant it’s Bruce Willis, wearing no shoes because they’ve been dipped. He’s got to solve a mystery with Roger Rabbit, and stop a frankly terrifying Christopher Lloyd from destroying Toontown his marriage to Holly Gennaro

Muppets vs Predator

Ever wanted to see Kermit get hit by a plasma gun? Now’s your chance! Five Muppets, one Predator, only one can win in this hyper violent spinoff.

Iron Man 0: Home Alone

How did Tony Stark learn to make his wonderful wonderful toys? By creating madcap traps around his house to keep Joe Pesci out, of course! Also he used to be called Kevin. I don’t know why.

Star Wars Oh Wait They Already Got This One

Disney acted fast and snapped this one up SUPER early. Enjoy a Star Wars film every year from now until WE ALL DIE IN THE SUN.

The Simpsons But It’s Funny Again

Look all I’m saying is if they can make Star Wars good again, they can do the same for The Simpsons.

Captain America 4: Welcome to Earth

Captain America saves the hearts and minds of the USA from a race of intergalactic frisbee pilots in this alien-punching, cigar-smoking, wisecrack-having, Washing DC-destroying MCU and ultra-patriotic entry entry.

So there you, that’s the things we will definitely, 100%, absolutely, for sure, certainly, of course, see when Disney buy some bits of 21st Century Fox.

Come back to this article later next year and see how many we got right. I bet it’ll be somewhere between 0 and 100%. Guaranteed.

Green Man Gaming Top 10 Sales 8th December

Here are Green Man Gaming’s top selling titles for the week ending 8th December 2017.

The Destiny 2 Expansion Pass proved to be incredibly popular, outselling all games this week, including it’s base game. Injustice 2 still reigns high, and Call of Duty, Battlefront 2 and PUBG are sticking around as usual. Okami HD, Cuphead and Star Ocean appear this week thanks to some great prices, as does Nioh!

The chart can be found below. Please note that all versions of the game are combined, so standard and special editions are not listed separately. Expansion packs and passes count as separate titles, such as War of the Chosen or Destiny 2 Expansion Pass.

  1. Destiny 2 Expansion Pass
  2. Injustice 2: Ultimate Edition
  3. Destiny 2
  4. Call of Duty: WW2
  5.  PUBG
  6. Star Wars: Battlefront II
  7. Okami HD
  8. Nioh – Complete Edition
  9. Cuphead
  10. Star Ocean The Last Hope 4K

Chart Expert Game Results

Sadly, no-one won this week, but some people got oh-so close. There were a few who guessed the right top 3 but in the wrong order, most thought Battlefront 2 would beat Call of Duty.

We’ll be back next week where the prize will be…Okami HD! Look out for the post on the community to give your prediction next week.

Everything That Happened At The Game Awards 2017

The Game Awards 2017 happened last night, the event where the games industry gathered in Los Angeles to clap each other on the back, give handshakes, and do speeches that maybe should’ve been checked before they went out:

But forget that, we’re here for the GAMES! First up, here’s the awards categories and what won in each one:

The Game Awards 2017 – Winners

  • Game Of The Year: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
  • Best Action Game: Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus
  • Best Action/Adventure Game: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
  • Best Roleplaying Game: Persona 5
  • Best Fighting Game: Injustice 2
  • Best Strategy Game: Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle
  • Best Family Game: Super Mario Odyssey
  • Best Sports/Racing Game: Forza Motorsport 7
  • Best Esports Game: Overwatch
  • Most Anticipated Game: The Last Of Us Part 2
  • Best Ongoing Game: Overwatch
  • Best Independent Game: Cuphead
  • Best Indie Debut Game: Cuphead
  • Best Mobile Game: Monument Valley 2
  • Best Handheld Game: Metroid: Samus Returns
  • Best VR/AR Game: Resident Evil 7
  • Best Game Direction: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
  • Best Narrative: What Remains of Edith Finch
  • Best Art Direction: Cuphead
  • Best Score/Music: NieR: Automata
  • Best Audio Design: Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice
  • Best Performance: Melina Juergens, Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice
  • Games for Impact: Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice
  • Student Game Award: Level Squared (Kip Brennan, Stephen Scoglio, Dane Perry Svendsen / Swinburne University)
  • Chinese Fan Game Award: jx3 HD
  • Trending Gamer: Guy Beahm (“Dr. Disrespect”)
  • Best Esports Player: Lee Sang-hyeok “Faker” (SK Telecom 1, League of Legends)
  • Best Esports Team: Cloud 9
  • Industry Icon Award: Carol Shaw

Congrats to all the winners!

But that’s not all The Game Awards has, there’s also TRAILERS for things, and announcements, and teasers, and stuff to get you excited about v i d e o g a m e s.

Want to see ’em? Here they are!

Trailers and Announcements

World War Z

There’s a game based off the World War Z property on its way. It looks more action packed than the book is, so probably inspired by the film and the upcoming World War Z 2 (which needs a better name, surely).

Vacation Simulator

Job Simulator was the surprise hit of the early VR wave, and Owlchemy Labs are following that up with Vacation Simulator, a 100% accurate look at being on holiday. Coming to VR near you in 2018.

Something by From Software

From Software, creators of the Souls series and Bloodborne, are now doing. Something. It’s a new project so it probably isn’t Bloodborne 2, despite the ichor-filled teaser, but you never know. King’s Field V?

In the Valley of Gods

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceJcHUoO734

From the creators of Firewatch, this is a tomby explory game where you and a companion go for a look into some Egyptian crypts. Coming 2019.

The Champions’ Ballad – The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

The second expansion / DLC for Breath of the Wild is out now! Go play it, what are you looking at this for?

Soul Calibur VI

Swords, fighting, boob physics, it’ll all be coming to you in 2018!

Bayonetta 1+2 On Switch

They’re coming to Switch, February 16, 2018!

Bayonetta 3 Exclusive to Switch

That’s right, Bayonetta’s back, and she’ll only be on the Switch. The mini console is looking more and more essential every day. No release date, meaning you’ve got time to save up.

We Still Don’t Really Know What Death Stranding Is

There’s a lot going on in this Death Stranding trailer but we still don’t really have any idea about even what kind of game it is. Come on Kojima, get off yer holiday and show us some GAME.

Pretty though.

Witchfire

Made by the people behind The Vanishing of Ethan Carter and Bulletstorm, this is a new shooter that’s looking like it’s going to be something pretty special. See more here.

A Way Out

We got to see a bit more of co-op prison escape game A Way Out, the followup from the Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons creators, and heard a LOT more from its director.

PLAYERUNKNOWN’S BATTLEGROUNDS Desert Map

We got to see a bit more of PUBG’s new desert map, named Miramar, and we got confirmation that the PC version will hit version 1.0 on December the 20th. More here.

Accounting+

The followup from Crows Crows Crows, creators of Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist, and featuring William Pugh who worked on The Stanley Parable, is coming to PSVR on December the 19th.

Fade To Silence

The new post-apocalyptic survival game from THQ Nordic will be entering early access on the 14th of December.

Fortnite: Battle Royal – 50 v 50

Fortnite, Epic’s survival / build ’em up / battle royale game will be getting a 50 v 50 game mode.

GTFO

GTFO, the new game from Payday devs Overkill Software, got a bit more footage of in-game shootery!

Metro Exodus

Metro Exodus, the surprise announcement from E3 2017 got a new story trailer, showing off a bit of the world and the background of the Metro world. More info here.

Dreams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odfYSiTpXpo

Dreams got a bit more info out there too, showing off a bit more of the fabulous, dreamlike, creative world that MediaMolecule is building.

So that’s it! Overall it was a decent show, there was no sign of Joel McHale or robots with men’s shavers for heads, so that’s an improvement right?

Anyway, thanks Geoff, we’ll see you next year!

Opinion: Games Will Always Need Money From Somewhere

Videogames are expensive to make.

That’s not something that’s easy to understand, we look at small games by some indie developer and we think ‘well, if they managed this with a team of two, how come Ubisoft need thousands of staff?’

Indie Games Are Expensive

Well, firstly it’s not that easy for indie developers. There’s not a month that goes by without some story of an indie developer making a game without understanding the financial costs actually making a game incurs. Stories like having to re-mortgage a house, nearly dying from exhaustion, or having to give up their plans and downsize everything.

So where does that money come from? For indie developers the chances are it’ll come from them. It’ll come from them and their savings and their families, it’ll come from any source they can get. Some make it and recoup their modest costs after launch, some disappear into debt and failure. It’s horrible, and there’s serious harm caused for some indie game developers, but that’s an article for another time.

AAA Games Are Even More Expensive

If you’re a bigger developer though, the expectations are so much higher. The games we demand from our AAA developers have never been bigger, more complex, or more beautiful. They also need patching, ongoing support, servers that stay online for years. That all takes a cost, for example did you know that one Ubisoft studio, Ubisoft Singapore, just does the water for Ubisoft games? And there’s a reason for that, it’s not just ‘lazy devs’ or ‘excess’, they make some of the best water in the industry.

Everything in AAA game development is massive now, and that’s partially down to progress and devs wanting to make bigger and better games, but also partly down to our expectations. If Halo 6 comes out and it looks worse than Halo 5, or isn’t as big, or doesn’t add something new, then there’d be rioting in the streets. If The Last of Us 2 is an idle browser game instead of a 12 hour cinematic masterpiece, Naughty Dog will be going out of business.

So they need money, and lots of it.

How Does This Get Funded?

Partially through sales, obviously, and partially through investments, but these only go so far. The RRP for a new game in the UK is about £50, but in actual terms games are going on sale for much less than that, from day one.

So the money needs to be made up somewhere, and right now, it’s microtransactions. And you probably hate microtransactions.

This opinion piece doesn’t exist for me to sing the praises about microtransactions or loot boxes, some of them are benign or well handled, but most are pretty dreadful (I’ve put this in bold so you don’t misconstrue the intent of this article). What I’m here to say is that if we want games to continue being this big, we’ve got to pay for them somehow.

Loot boxes have been the big thing this year, but after the Battlefront II furore it’s pretty clear the tide’s turned and publishers will be less likely to stick a loot box in a game from now on, at least without drastically altering how they’re presented.

But what will take their place if they do become unprofitable or utterly toxic?

The Wheel of Game Funding

It’s worth remembering that we’ve had microtransactions for a while now, from Horse Armor in Oblivion, to H&M packs for The Sims. They’ve been with us for a while, so microtransactions themselves won’t be going anywhere just yet.

We’ve had subscription services, which have also largely died a death. A few years ago you couldn’t move for proposed subscriptions, from World of Warcraft to Call of Duty Elite, the plan was for everything to charge on a monthly basis.

For a while in the mid 2000s the peripheral was king. Plastic guitars, plastic drums, plastic decks, plastic skateboards, we had them all. And again, the reason they existed was to prop up games that would otherwise be smaller, be worse, without the extra influx of funds.

We’ve had direct shops in games, which have all but disappeared in favour of Loot Boxes. Heroes of the Storm, I’m looking at you.

So we’ve had ways of pumping extra cash into games that have been and gone and it’ll be the same with loot boxes. They’ll disappear, or change beyond recognition, and today’s crisis will be long forgotten in a year or two.

But it’ll always be replaced by something, games need money. They suck up money, for example Destiny took a reported $500 million to develop, and that’s before the ongoing support to keep servers up, to patch the game, to make new content for it. $500 million. Imagine that. I can’t.

Whose Pocket Does This Come From?

The answer is you. You’re the customer and your pocket is what funds game development. If you don’t buy Loot Boxes or microtransactions, they will go away, but they’ll be replaced by something else.

So my advice is this, don’t accept Loot Boxes if you don’t like them. Don’t buy things you don’t want. BUT, be prepared for things to change. Games may switch to a different model to get the cash needed for AAA game development, more expensive games, transactions to unlock gameplay elements, who knows.

The other option is that without the funds provided by microtransactions we’ll start seeing games get smaller, get more modest. Ideas may get smaller and more focused, large developers and publishers may shut down. Games obviously won’t go away, but we might be seeing the end of AAA game development, at least as we know it.

Without Loot Boxes, or something else to take their place, AAA games cannot exist because they are too big, too complicated, too expensive to make without additional money being thrown at them. And if we’re not willing to pony up, the landscape of AAA gaming has to change, or die.

The Best Christmas Games

Christmas is coming, the goose is fat,  Scrooge is having nightmares, and Coca-Cola trucks are being seen on every street.

’tis the season to play videogames, and why not inject a hot festive feeling into your videogaming with these, the absolute best Christmas-themed games that exist.

Die Hard

Honestly this is just in here so all you people who joke ‘ha ha Die Hard is my favourite Christmas movie’ year after year can also have a favourite Christmas game. Go wild.

Christmas Lemmings

More a reskin of the original Lemmings than a new Lemmings game, Christmas Lemmings was a game ported to pretty much everything in the early 90s. There’s nothing really ‘new’ in it other than the Christmas Trappings, but Lemmings is a brilliant game so who cares right? It’s still Lemmings. Lemmings + Christmas. Christmas Lemmings. Look I’ve run out of things to say already.

Oh but the Lemmings have little Christmas outfits, and frankly if that’s not enough for you to want to play this, then I don’t know what to say to you.

The Elder Scrolls: Morrowind – Bloodmoon

‘But Alex’ I hear you cry, ‘Skyrim is the snowier game’. Yes, you’re right, there’s much more snow in Skyrim. But the Bloodmoon expansion to Morrowind has plenty of weather, and more than that, it has Father Christmas!

Well, Uncle Sweetshare anyway.

A cheerful fellow who makes sweet sweet candy and likes nothing better than to give “candy to all the boys and girls” in Fort Frostmoth. The only small downside of this is that his candy might be a little addictive and poisonous. So it’s on you to go put an end to his fun-loving ways, by whatever means necessary.

What’s more Christmassy than peeling the Colovian Fur Helm off the corpse of a deluded poisonous drug dealer? Nothing!

World of Warcraft

World of Warcraft is quite un-Christmassy most of the year, but in December it ramps up the Crimbles with the Feast of Winter Veil.

Cities and towns the world over (and also maybe some other worlds linked to Azeroth) are given a Christmassy makeover, and the capitals of each faction get special Christmas-themed quests, like everyone’s favourite ‘oh no, I deleted my Graccu’s Mince Meat Fruitcake, GM!’.

Find Metzen, spread cheer, make some cookies, and on the special day itself you can even open some presents from underneath the giant Winter Veil Tree.

Elf Bowling

Elf Bowling is a series of games where you bowl at some elves.

That’s it really, but it’s quite Christmassy and there’s Christmas stuff and you’re Christmas elves and. Well. You get the idea.

Elf Bowling. Bowl at some elves. Can I stop writing yet.

James Pond II: Operation Robocod

Christmas is under attack, so the only logical thing to do is put a fish in a robot suit and send it into Father Christmas’s castle to jump on everything in sight.

Look the 90s were a different time OK?

Featuring no small amount of chocolate-based product placement, this Christmas fish adventure is a surprisingly robust platformer. Playing like a mad dream of a Super Mario game, you can jump on things, climb in vehicles, stretch your body to ridiculous lengths, and have a dance party with some penguins.

This game is also remarkable for the time esteemed astronomer Sir Patrick Moore, in his guise as GamesMaster, had to tell kids how to activate cheat codes for it.

Duke: Nuclear Winter

Go back to all your favourite locations, like the red light district, or Hollywood, and blast aliens in them again but with a Christmas theme! Duke’s back baby, in this Winter wonderland expansion to Duke Nukem 3D. You also visit many Christmas locations, which of course Duke treats with respect, reverence, and kindness.

And also a foot, one-lines, and a shotgun to many faces.

Jazz Jackrabbit: Holiday Hare

Another entry from the early 90s, the first Holiday Hare spinoff was a shareware episode that featured new levels for the platformer classic, all with a Christmas theme. THEN we actually got Holiday Hare 95, a year later, this time featuring even more Christmas levels featuring everyone’s favourite green rabbit. AND THEN Holiday Hare 98 happened for Jazz Jackrabbit 2, and EVEN MORE holidaying happened when The Christmas Chronicles, a remake of Holiday Hare 98 came out.

Eventually the original Holiday Hare got incorporated into the main game as episode X, bringing the number of episodes in Jazz Jackrabbit up to ten.

 

That’s my list of best Christmas games, so you should have EVERYTHING YOU NEED to play something to get you in the mood for Crimble joy. Did I miss something? Hit me up in the comments!

Or you could just play Battlefront II or something, that’s got snow in it.

What’s New On The Store 5th December 2017

We’re always adding new stuff to our Green Man Gaming store, from the smallest of indie games to the biggest AAA titles. We’re adding new stuff every single day!

But what if you miss the perfect game for YOU? What if you’re browsing our shop or thinking of picking up a game, all the time not knowing that the game you’ve been looking for, have been hoping we get, is on our store RIGHT NOW!

So come here every day as we’ll be listing all the new additions to our store, so you can check them out and see what’s new!

Demonlisher

Arkana the Evil One has imprisoned souls to feed its dark power. Stop Arkana before it is too late. Explore the castle and the catacombs of Nordar and free each and every soul. Avoid Arkana’s demonic servants or fight them using your power of magic. Collect the magic items and use them wisely to call a halt to the spreading of darkness…

Dead By Murder

“Dead By Murder”, is a murder mystery strategy game, where the user plays as a police detective and must solve a series of homicide cases.
The game has the look and feel of a black and white comic book. It is set in Los Angeles in 1945 and all the characters have the faces of Golden Age Hollywood stars.

Green Team Streamer Schedule – 5th December

Looking for a stream to watch this evening? Well the Green Team is ready to entertain you! Check out below what games are being played by these mighty individuals, and what time and day you can catch them.

 

Game Name Time (GMT)
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Kerzahd 17:00
PUBG Yggaming 18:00
Final Fantasy 1 BearserkerBes 21:00
Fallout 3 Cira Correlia 23:00
 The Universim/Destiny 2  The Foxhole 0:00

What’s New On The Store 4th December 2017

We’re always adding new stuff to our Green Man Gaming store, from the smallest of indie games to the biggest AAA titles. We’re adding new stuff every single day!

But what if you miss the perfect game for YOU? What if you’re browsing our shop or thinking of picking up a game, all the time not knowing that the game you’ve been looking for, have been hoping we get, is on our store RIGHT NOW!

So come here every day as we’ll be listing all the new additions to our store, so you can check them out and see what’s new!

Wonky Ship – Shipwright

Ready to master all of the wonkiest ships in the galaxy? With this pack you’ll instantly get the keys to every ship in the game! Slow and steady – check! Wild and flippy – check! Rocket-powered space camper – check! They’re all yours for one low price, saving you valuable time and millions of coins.

Alimardan’s Mischief

In the childhood of us 20-odd-year-olds, there was always a boy at the center of attention whose shenanigans were what made him like us. What a day it would turn out to be when we’d suddenly break a glass or pull our little sisters’ hair! Voices from around the house would then carry the melody that we were busted!
Whoooooooops!
“He had a boy, Abbas Gholi Khan
So rude and crude
Ali Mardan Khan, was his name
About whom the maid was in despair”
Ali Mardan Khan had turned into our nightmare and our only hope was to take our revenge on this little boy. Do you know why? Because no matter how naughty, mischievous, stubborn, and spoiled he was, we had dignity of our own; we didn’t like to be compared with this little boy. That’s why when we turned into a bunch of 23-year-olds that we are now, we decided to create the game of this little naughty boy; a game in which naughtiness goes hand in hand with goodness and kindness, damage coexists with making amends, and a world of virtue is gifted in exchange for the occasional bad in the world.

 

NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics

EXT JUMP is a love letter to shmup’s Shoot ’em up or space shooters, read in a slightly different manner: In turn-based battles!

Your mission, our mission, is very simple:
The dragons are fleeing with all our Elixir supply. Stop them!
We have an advantage: We are FASTER. Our engines are capable of doing “Juxtaposition Ultra Movement Positioning”, or JUMPs, as we call it.
It will not be easy, as the Dragon drones can invade our Jumps, attacking us inside while traveling faster than light. These drones are predictable and always act by following pre-set patterns, but too many drones within the JUMP can be certain death!

Alpha Zylon

Take out dozens of enemies, traps and other dangers with your knife, hand gun, machine gun, grenade launcher, satchel charges or sniper rifle!

6 varying levels taking place in the desert, jungle or city!

Fast action 3D platform gaming with classic 2D gameplay!

96 Mill

Abandoned and marked for demolition, but its infamous legacy refuses to be buried.

At 96 Mill Street, Woonsocket, Rhode Island, sits the Edmont Worsted Industrial Complex, a derelict, condemned building with a checkered past of unexplained events since its construction in 1820. You are an employee of Hamilton Demolition Company, tasked with assisting demolitions expert Frank Galvani in rigging the building for implosion.

What’s New On The Store 1st December 2017

We’re always adding new stuff to our Green Man Gaming store, from the smallest of indie games to the biggest AAA titles. We’re adding new stuff every single day!

But what if you miss the perfect game for YOU? What if you’re browsing our shop or thinking of picking up a game, all the time not knowing that the game you’ve been looking for, have been hoping we get, is on our store RIGHT NOW!

So come here every day as we’ll be listing all the new additions to our store, so you can check them out and see what’s new!

Orb The Ball

A small yellow creature called Orb who has no ability to move stuck on a planet full of dangerous enemies and this planet is YOU. You are the only one who able to help him go through the multiple locations safely. Move the environment to roll him around the spikes, lava pits, and even lasers using various control mechanics from the basic platformer to a pinball like.

Regions Of Ruin

Ever wonder what would happen if Kingdom met a broad, skill based open world RPG? Welcome to Regions of Ruin.

Regions of Ruin is a 2D side-scrolling RPG with town-building where you are introduced to an open world that progressively challenges your hero and settlement the further you delve into the vast continent.

You will discover a foreboding land ravaged by hundreds of years of hardship. Where, kingdoms have risen and fallen, settlements have been laid to waste and overrun by warring groups, and great mysteries lay hidden and waiting to be unearthed – assuming you can defeat their jealous guardians.

Galactic Crew

Galactic Crew is a roguelike sci-fi game that takes place in a galaxy far away. You start the game as a captain of a small spaceship, with only a few crew members and limited resources. During your journey through outer space, you have to face dangerous encounters like space pirates. You will need to trade goods and resources to get better ship equipment, and you have to use all of your wisdom and luck to survive in this merciless galaxy. However, there are also peaceful places on planets for you to explore, like ancient ruins, medieval villages, or alien mining outposts.

Pizza Connection 3

Open your restaurant in spring 2018

Mamma mia… Long awaited by fans around the world, the newest instalment of the cult series “Pizza Connection” returns to the PC with even more flavour and extra cheese.
Make ’em a pizza they can’t refuse!
In addition to the series’ tried and true basic ingredients, economic simulation Pizza Connection 3 offers a number of hot new toppings! Work your way through a challenging campaign to rise from a simple pizza baker in the streets of Rome to the owner of the world’s most successful pizza chain! Use the famous Pizza Creator to design your own signature pizzas.

Show your competitors the way to sell pizzas and create a unique taste experience for your customers each time they visit one of your restaurants. Whether you do so by means of target group oriented advertising and great pizzas in stylish restaurants or by dancing along the crust of legality through the occasional use of sabotage and violence is entirely up to you.
It’s time to once again enrich the world with tasty pizzas and redefine good taste.

What’s New On The Store 30th November 2017

We’re always adding new stuff to our Green Man Gaming store, from the smallest of indie games to the biggest AAA titles. We’re adding new stuff every single day!

But what if you miss the perfect game for YOU? What if you’re browsing our shop or thinking of picking up a game, all the time not knowing that the game you’ve been looking for, have been hoping we get, is on our store RIGHT NOW!

So come here every day as we’ll be listing all the new additions to our store, so you can check them out and see what’s new!

Street Heat

Surrender your senses tothe ultimate top-down racing experience! Street Heat is an action-packed four-player party-piece enhanced by vibrant neon-noir visuals and a masterful ’80s soundtrack. Go bumper-to-bumper with three other racers as you screech around corners, hurtle over deadly jumps and floor it across busy train tracks in the race for the checkered flag.Pick your car and livery of choice and get racing against friends, strangers or AI within seconds. But beware: spin off the track’s edge or get obliterated by the trains and your race is over until the next round!

Piggy Princess


Help Piggy Princess escape from prison!. Use physics and objects of each scenario to solve puzzles and release Princess. She loves to eat beans, so with help from their flatulences she will can fly and escape each game level. A fun game that combines the ability to solve physics puzzles to reach the exit of each stage along with the ability to launch the Princess across the scenery. Intelligently uses the objects in each scenery to pass each level. Enjoy beatiful graphics playing more than 50 amazing levels.

Captain Lycop: Invasion of the Heters


Mankind has received a transmission from space. An alien ship is coming. A hardened officer has been choosen to assess the danger.

Dive into the heart of Captain Lycop: Invasion of the Heters, a space shooter mixing adventure, action and management. Face off against pen-pushing insects, merciless enemies and epic bosses. Your only hope is to banish all cowardice and follow a virtuous path.

Snowball!

Ever wonder what ULTIMATE KID POWER is truly capable of? Experience a homemade and hand-cranked winter pinball adventure, sending your behemoth snow spheres through a bobsled maze of snowbanks, homemade wooden paddles, Tesla coils, igloos, railcars and more…

What’s New On The Store 29th November 2017

We’re always adding new stuff to our Green Man Gaming store, from the smallest of indie games to the biggest AAA titles. We’re adding new stuff every single day!

But what if you miss the perfect game for YOU? What if you’re browsing our shop or thinking of picking up a game, all the time not knowing that the game you’ve been looking for, have been hoping we get, is on our store RIGHT NOW!

So come here every day as we’ll be listing all the new additions to our store, so you can check them out and see what’s new!

Black Mirror (PC)

Scotland, 1926. Followingthe suicide of his father, David Gordon visits his ancestral home for the first time in his life. A life that is soon threatened by the dark secrets that claimed the sanity of many Gordons before him.

Tormented by nightmares and waking dreams for all his life, David fears that it might be his destiny to follow in his father’s footsteps, down a path that leads to madness, and death.

Is there really a Curse that has been haunting his family, like his father believed?
It is up to David to uncover the horrible truths, buried under generations of silence and fathoms of stone. Black Mirror Castle demands an offering…

Gnome Light (PC)

Enter Gnorbert’s dreamworld, and explore his inner most thoughts and fears. Memories of his life are throughout the game, hidden in puzzles and hidden treasures. Gnorberts epic tale through his own mind will take him to his worst memories, best memories and test his spirit. You never know what dreams might contain be careful!

A magical light helps Gnorbert navigate through his dreams, it helps him see, can burn light objects and much more. Cast it to reach out, or retract it and run more swiftly. The Light can also help collect fireflies, a key ingredient used to open magic portals. Fireflies also help Gnorbert, each collected insect increases Gnorbert’s ability to jump.

Chests can be found throughout the game, these items aren’t necessary for the puzzles but can unlock different memories in the game. Keep your eye out for hidden passages and trails they might lead you to unexpected treasures!

MLB® The Show™ 18

Home runs, steals, and epic catches – get deep into the action and experience your favorite parts of baseball with MLB® The Show™ 18. With the most exciting and personal baseball gaming experience on console, The Show™ 18 delivers condensed, but authentic games in classic and current stadiums that may feel so real, you can smell the grass.

Experience the best of baseball in MLB® The Show™ 18.

The House of Da Vinci

Enter The House of Da Vinci, a new must-try 3D puzzle adventure game. Solve mechanical puzzles, discover hidden objects, escape from rooms and dive into the authentic atmosphere of the Renaissance. Use all your wits to find out what’s behind your master’s disappearance.